The J. Rock Blog

The J. Rock is simply a collection of my musings on different subject matters. I find myself often sharing my thoughts with friends, family and peers. Looking back I wished that I had recorded these moments. Mostly so that I could look back and see how I have evolved as person, but also to enrich my discussions with others.  Topics here can be an eclectic range of philosophy, daily life, technical discussion and politics.  I welcome any productive comments, but I do request that you be considerate and thoughtful in your responses.

Origins

I arrived in the United States, February 14, 1984. I remember landing in Detroit, MI and seeing snow for the first time. There was a heavy snowstorm that night. I remembered it as a blizzard, but as a seven year old who had never seen snow, I could easily have just be in awe of the storm that made the front of the car seem like a white wall.

Starting as an immigrant child facing a strange new world, without friends and faced with learning a new language, I started to internalize my thoughts. In those early years, the world was a strange place. It felt like an alternate reality. Suddenly, the world was nothing but strange sounds that didn’t make any sense. Occasionally I would hear a sound combination that seemed familiar. As I spoke everyone looked at me with blank eyes. Suddenly, I was a zoo animal.

That experience led me to internalize my feelings and my thoughts. Even now, despite my fluency in the English language, I struggle to truly be vulnerable. My words just seem to fail me in expressing the full extent of my thoughts and feelings. How do you express these deep emotions that well up inside you so powerfully that you feel like a vulcano on the verge of eruption?

Fate & The Rock

Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was luck. 1992 was the first time anyone had ever suggested I choose Joe as my English name. At first I resisted, because my best friend at the time was already named Joseph. Strangely enough, 6 months later, as I was walking with friends, I came across a rock with what appeared to be “J.” on it. I’m not sure why, but I decided to keep the rock. Did someone create the “J.” on this rock? I spent weeks examining the rock only to conclude somehow two different stone materials had merged into this unique design.

Fast forward 4 years. After years of people pronouncing my Chinese name incorrectly, I decided that I wanted an English name that was simple for others to pronounce. As fate would have it, my stand partner in High School decided that my English would be Joe. He was so committed to my new name he made it a point to announce my name to everyone.

Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was chance. It does feel sometimes that the “J.” rock foretold my future name and who knows, maybe my future.

Evolution of The J. Rock

In 1995, while at the University of Michigan, I was introduced to HTML. It was as if a whole new world opened up to me. Suddenly, I could create pages that was available for everyone to read. It was during this time that I first created my own personal website. Drawing inspiration from a rock I had found as a child, I named this website The J. Rock. The website wasn’t much, but I did put my resume on there. This landed me a gig as an intern at IBM in Charlotte, NC. When I graduated the site simply became defunct.

Over the last few years, there’s been a burning desire to rediscover my creative voice. In high school I had discovered self expression through poetry. Those late nights alone writing under the yellow glow of a single desk lamp became my escape as I struggled with my identity. Was I defined by my Chinese roots or was I defined by my American present? My struggles with expressing myself seemed to melt away as I wrote my poems. It was a world where my emotions were reflected back to me in expression through the words.

For a time I thought about creating a blog named Gravity & Love, but after searching deep within myself, I realized that it all came back to my beginnings: The J. Rock.